EPISODE 34
Alpine Escapade
Join me and my old buddy Jason Ruhl as we spend a week pedaling through the stunning landscapes of Southern Switzerland and Northern Italy, from Luzern to Jason’s charmingly rustic Italian retreat overlooking Lago Maggiore and back. Fueled by pure grit, espresso, and lots of pastries, we conquer iconic climbs like the Madonna del Ghisallo. We also explore the awe-inspiring Orridi di Uriezzo slot canyons and indulge in a serious Crodino blind taste test. Along the way, we meet locals whose help and advice shape our trip. Even the complete failure of my disc brakes, leading to a dramatic dash race against time to catch our train, is part of the unforgettable fun. All the sounds of our trip, from the church bells to the marching band, are part of this episode, which will hopefully inspire you to have your own escapade in this stunning corner of the Alps!
Episode Transcript
Gabriel (narrator): That’s my old friend, Jason Ruhl, strumming his guitar in the Luzern, Switzerland, apartment that he shares with his Swiss girlfriend, Monika. It’s the evening before Jason and I are to set off on our epic May 2025 bike tour of southern Switzerland and northern Italy. On this episode of the podcast, you are invited to bike along with us, as we tackle legendary climbs like the Madonna del Ghisallo, explore the awe- inspiring Orridi di Uriezzo slot canyons, take a Crodino blind taste test and make new Italian friends along the way. But it’s not all smooth sailing. You’ll also hear about my nail-biting brake failures and a heart-pounding race against time to catch our train back to Luzern. Quick disclaimers. Everyone who appears on this episode consented to be recorded. Those of you who listen to the podcast while cycling be warned, you will hear lots of different sounds on this episode. The recordings are mostly spontaneous and many have background noise. I will be nice, though, and let you know when the church bells are about to start.
Sandra: You’re listening to The Accidental Bicycle Tourist. In this podcast, you’ll meet people from all walks of life and learn about their most memorable bike touring experiences. This is your host, Gabriel Aldaz.
Gabriel (narrator): Hello, cycle touring enthusiasts! Welcome to a very special installment of The Accidental Bicycle Tourist podcast. For the past few summers, Jason, myself, and a third friend, Sameer Kazi, have gotten together for a week of testosterone-fueled cycling. Sameer, who may one day be a guest on the show, was unfortunately not able to make it to Europe this year. Since Jason currently lives in Luzern and has bought a property overlooking the calm waters of Lago Maggiore in northern Italy, we decided to explore southern Switzerland and the northern parts of Italy’s Piemonte and Lombardia regions by bike. While the setting was perfect, the time of year, mid-May, was on the early side, as most of the alpine passes in Switzerland were still closed for the winter. Among the impassable passes was the Gotthardpass, the most direct link between Luzern and Lago Maggiore. Nowadays, most of the motorized traffic avoids the 2,091 meter (or 6,860 foot) pass entirely, instead using the 16.9 kilometer long Gotthard Tunnel, which is open year- round but closed to cyclists for obvious reasons. A third way through the Gotthard is by rail, and we decided to start our tour with a train ride from Luzern to the village of Airolo on the other side of the Gotthard Tunnel. I had really tried publishing the previous episode, “Zigzagging Across the Americas,” with Yann Tourman before leaving Luzern, but I just didn’t have the time. Therefore, I had to pack my laptop in my pannier so I could publish as soon as I got to Italy. That shouldn’t be a problem, right? Well, not quite. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Our trip began at the sleepy Airolo train station with unbridled optimism.
Gabriel: We’re off!
Jason: Like a pack of turtles.
Gabriel (narrator): From Airolo, 108 downhill or flat-ish kilometers took us across the border into Italy, before finishing with two extremely steep kilometers up to Jason’s rustico overlooking Lago Maggiore. What is a Rustico, you might ask? Jason explains.
Gabriel: Still in bed?
Jason: My legs aren’t working. I can’t get up.
Gabriel: How would you define a rustico?
Jason: A rustico is a very old stone building typical in Italy.
Gabriel: And what percent of your Rustico has a roof on it?
Jason: 50 percent. That’s a lot, man. Have you seen some of the other ones?
Gabriel: Yes, I have.
Gabriel (narrator): After getting settled in the rustico, I tried to finally publish the episode. Here is the sound of my laptop when I tried to start it up. Yes, that is the sound of silence. After a few seconds, I got a black screen with a brief message in the upper left corner. “Fan error.” Shortly thereafter, the laptop shut itself off to prevent itself from overheating. So, I wasn’t going to get my episode published on time after all. The following day, we took the laptop to a computer shop in Verbania and picked it up at the end of the week. Later in the episode, we’ll check in to see how that went. Rather than give a day-by-day account of our trip, I’m going to talk about some of the highlights of the week. One of my favorite climbs, for example, was up to the Madonna del Ghisallo, which features in the Giro di Lombardia, called the Race of the Falling Leaves because it is so late in the professional cycling calendar. The climb from Bellagio on the shores of the Lago di Como is 9.4 kilometers long. The overall gradient of 6 percent is misleading, because there is a relatively flat three-kilometer stretch in the middle. The remaining 6 kilometers before and after are painful, with the steepest percent. Jason and I had started the day on the other side of the Lago di Como, so we had to ride to Cadenabbia and then take a 10-minute ferry across the lake to Bellagio. This is the ferry, roaring to life. On the ferry, we had a few minutes to talk about the upcoming climb.
Gabriel: We’re heading to Bellagio.
Jason: Yeah, this is the place that’s named after this place in Vegas.
Gabriel: Definitely. I think they installed some fountains here that they totally copied from Bellagio Hotel.
Jason: Well, I hope they do that once an hour show here, like they do in Vegas. If they don’t, I would be super disappointed.
Gabriel: We can’t start the climb until we’ve seen the once-an-hour fountain.
Gabriel (narrator): We disembarked and immediately began climbing, with the shimmering waters of the Lago di Como as a gorgeous backdrop. The first kilometers were relentless. Then came the flat kilometers in the middle, followed by the final hairpin turns before the church of the Madonna del Ghisallo finally came into view, much to our relief. At the top, we found a bench beside the church and immediately started refueling.
Gabriel: Well, we did it, Jason. Made it to the top.
Jason: Why is this place so much special? I mean, it’s just a steep uphill climb. It’s not like it’s harder or crazier than any other place. You said it’s on a race route or something.
Gabriel: Right.
Jason: Just because of that.
Gabriel: It’s nice, you know, it’s very steep, but then the last 1.4 kilometers are those hairpins. There’s like six or eight hairpins.
Jason: It’s nice, but it’s not that much better than any other place we’ve been.
Gabriel (narrator): Searching for answers about what made this place so special, we ventured to the nearby cycling museum. I was fortunate to find a director of the museum. Better yet, she was willing to spend a few minutes talking to me in the museum cafe. As happens so often in Italy, she kicked off the conversation by offering me an espresso, which I gladly accepted. First, I needed to know the director’s name.
Carola: Yes, I’m Carola Gentilini, and I’m the director of the Ghisallo Cycling Museum.
Gabriel: It was a big event for us to come up from Bellagio today and make it up. My first question is, why is this area such a cycling center?
Carola: Yes, it’s very important for the cyclists because there is a little church that the Madonna, the Lady of Ghisallo, was recognized by the Pope in 1949 as the protector of cyclists. And so, since these years, this place became a very famous for cyclists. And also because the Giro di Lombardia, you know, the very famous race of the end of the season, normally is from Bellagio and go all in Como or in Bergamo. Every year’s change, but since 1920, the Giro di Lombardia was a race that arrived here. And so this is why the cyclists know very well this place. There is also a museum. It was created at the end of the century, and the inauguration was made in 2006. And this museum was created by Fiorenzo Magni. He was a very important Italian champion of the time of Coppi and Bartali, and he would create this place like a home for cyclists, to tell about the history of cyclists. And so we have a very important collection of jerseys and bicycles of big champions, not only Italian, but foreign giants also, and a lot of objects and memorabilia about all the history of cycling.
Gabriel: Yeah, and that’s where we are now, and we’re visiting the museum. Jason and I, and Jason is somewhere in the museum, so we’re enjoying it. Because I grew up in Spain, I was always a fan of cycling. Jason grew up in the US, so he didn’t know anything about cycling. We have different backgrounds.
Carola: We have a lot of foreign people as visitors, a lot. About half of our visitors is foreign people.
Gabriel: Do most come by bicycle?
Carola: A lot arrive by bicycle, yes. But we have also family with kids, but normally foreign people arrive normally by bicycle, because they like to arrive here by bicycle, ride and visit the history of cycling.
Gabriel: Yeah, there’s a good cycling vibe. People are always arriving.
Carola: Yes, there is a little hard climb from Bellagio to arrive here, and it’s possible to ride around here. There are beautiful places and roads, and there is also very close to us the Muro di Sormano. It’s another very famous climb. It was inserted for the first time in the Giro di Lombardia in 1962, but it’s only one kilometer and 50, 500, but it’s very, very, very hard.
Gabriel: Yeah, because muro means “wall.”
Carola: Muro is wall, yes. Yeah.
Gabriel: So you’re climbing up a wall.
Carola: We have a little part in 27 percent.
Gabriel: I need to tell Jason about this. It’s nearby. We make a detour. We go to the muro.
Carola: Yeah, yeah.
Gabriel: How far is it from here?
Carola: It’s about seven kilometers.
Gabriel: Really?
Carola: Yeah.
Gabriel: You’re killing me. Jason, Jason, we have to get this muro.
Carola: Yeah, so if you’re here, you have to go there, because it’s very special also, the path, because there are written the name of the champions that won the Lombardia or that they made the best time to ride the wall, so it’s special.
Gabriel: Okay, excellent. Anything else you’d like to say about the museum?
Carola: We have a very special bicycle, as I told you, like the bicycle of hour, the record of hour of Fausto Coppi.
Gabriel: Oh, ok.
Carola: Yes, and some bicycle of Gino Bartali. Yes, I know that are Italian, but I think they are very famous all over the world.
Gabriel: Sure.
Carola: And we have for this season also the 3 bicycle of Pogačar used last year.
Gabriel: I saw those, with his jerseys.
Carola: Jerseys and bicycle of the 3 victories of last year. Very important. And another very interesting thing is we have a wall of pink jerseys of Giro d’Italia. We have, I think, one of the most important collection of pink jerseys, and we have about 60 jerseys.
Gabriel: Well, it’s a place for any cycling fan to visit.
Carola: Yes, I think one time if you are passionate, you have to come here and visit the Ghisello Cycling Museum.
Gabriel: Sounds good.
Gabriel (narrator): I thanked Carola for her time and joined Jason having a look around the museum. Afterwards, we stepped briefly into the small church and prayed for Jason’s knees before beginning our descent from the Ghisallo at full speed. A few kilometers later, we saw the fork in the road toward the Muro di Sormano and decided to ignore it. There are limits to what we’re willing to take on, especially on loaded bicycles. Day after day of constant up and down, what’s taking its toll on our leg muscles. Here’s a typical conversation with Jason when he had finished showering, after a particularly rough stage.
Gabriel: What are you babbling on about?
Jason: My legs hurt, and I need someone who can rub them.
Gabriel: Yeah, well.
Jason: Do you know anybody?
Gabriel: Uh, no.
Jason: Are you busy?
Gabriel: Yeah, I’m pretty busy. I gotta make dinner.
Jason: You can do that later.
Gabriel: It’s pretty late. I better get going right away. Risotto takes some time, you know. You gotta be stirring. It requires full attention.
Jason: True.
Gabriel (narrator): Another effect of the steep roads is that they pretty much eat up breaks. Mine were already fairly worn out at the start of the trip, and within a few days, I was having trouble stopping. The first signs of trouble came on a gorgeous stretch of road between Malesco and Canobbio. Between these two towns was yet another mountain pass, the Passo dello Scopello, which is known unofficially as the Passo Marco Pantani. The summit was an excellent place to take a break, and I seized the opportunity to ask Jason a couple of questions about the Italian cycling legend.
Gabriel: So we’re at the top of the Passo Marco Pantani. That’s what it’s been called by the Canobbio fans of Marco Pantani Club. So first of all, Jason, do you know who is Marco Pantani?
Jason: No.
Gabriel: You don’t know?
Jason: Marco Pantani? He’s a singer, a famous Italian singer.
Gabriel: No.
Jason: Yo soy un italiano vero.
Gabriel: I mean, he might have sung that, but he’s a pretty famous cyclist. Il Pirata.
Jason: Okay.
Gabriel: Yeah. So I have just a couple of questions about Marco Pantani. Do you think Marco Pantani ever doped?
Jason: Yes, I do.
Gabriel: Okay. And why is that?
Jason: Because I think all cyclists are doping, aren’t they? I doped this morning even.
Gabriel: That’s just called breakfast. No blood transfusions?
Jason: No.
Gabriel: I don’t think you doped in the same way then.
Gabriel (narrator): On the descent, I started to have trouble stopping the bike. My hands were sore from gripping the disc brake levers so tightly. We made it safely down to Lago Maggiore and decided to stop by a bike shop in Gravellona Toce, close to the place where the Toce River empties into Lago Maggiore. There, we met a helpful young mechanic named Andrea. He asked where we were going and we told him that we were considering returning to Switzerland via the Simplon Pass.
Andrea: Ah, It’s better to start in the morning so it’s quiet. In some parts you can avoid the main – Ciao Marco! So in some parts you can skip the main road.
Gabriel: That’s the old road.
Andrea: Yeah. I did last year the pass to go to Germany.
Gabriel: Okay.
Andrea: It’s fine.
Gabriel: We’ve just heard that there’s just a lot of traffic in the summer.
Andrea: It’s busy, of course, like all the most famous pass in Europe. If you do Gran San Bernardo, all the famous, the Galibier are all busy.
Jason: Did you go over to Gottardo?
Andrea: No, not yet.
Jason: Ok.
Andrea: I missed that.
Jason: So you rode your bike to Germany?
Andrea: Yeah, last year.
Gabriel: Oh, cool. Where did you end up in Germany?
Andrea: I have to go to my cousin’s wedding, so Heidelberg.
Gabriel: Oh, in Heidelberg? Oh, see another person who bike tours to get to a wedding. You’re not the only one.
Andrea: My parents are supposed to bring my dress and everything.
Gabriel: Yes.
Andrea: They forgot my luggage.
Gabriel: No!
Andrea: I had to run. No, the only thing that they get was a dress and they forgot everything else.
Gabriel: Wait, not the dress. You mean the suit?
Andrea: The suit, yeah.
Gabriel: Or maybe the dress. I don’t know.
Andrea: Yeah.
Gabriel: All right, so the situation with the brakes.
Andrea: You can take off the…
Gabriel: Pannier. Yeah. So the brakes are shot. You can replace them, no problem. Okay. And then you say that it would be…
Andrea: You just have to check if you have the right one.
Gabriel: Yeah. Okay, that’s important.
Andrea: Main problem.
Gabriel: Main problem.
Andrea: And you want to have a lunch, because in more or less 20 minutes, I go for my lunch break.
Gabriel (narrator): Just like that, we had run into the Italian work schedule, which usually includes a generous lunch break. There was nothing to do but have lunch at a place that Andrea recommended. As soon as we returned, he had a look at my old Bianchi.
Andrea: So there it is.
Gabriel: Oh man, it is seriously worn down.
Andrea: I saw much worse, I think.
Gabriel: Have you seen worse?
Andrea: I think we have something worse attached to the wall. Yeah, you can see on the wall there is something worse.
Gabriel: Let’s see, on the wall here.
Andrea: Yeah.
Gabriel: Oh, wow. Wait a minute. But…
Andrea: There is nothing left there.
Gabriel: Not only is the pad gone, it’s actually wearing into the…
Andrea: Metal. Yeah, exactly.
Gabriel: Okay.
Jason: It makes sense, because it’s bending the thing. I mean, something fell out of there.
Andrea: This one on the wall.
Jason: Is yours going to get up there?
Gabriel: No, mine still has some pad left.
Jason: Oh, I see.
Gabriel: Somebody had that. And somebody had that.
Jason: Yeah, that’s pretty good, actually. That’s like razor- thin.
Andrea: I think I found them, but we have to order and so it takes a few days, if you want to go around and check in another bike shop or…
Gabriel: Man, that’s a shame.
Andrea: Yeah.
Jason: So, we don’t have breaks or?
Gabriel: No.
Jason: Can you slip some paper towel or something?
Andrea: I was thinking maybe the front ones are a bit better. We can swap them, because normally you brake more with the rear. Okay. So maybe we can put the front in the back.
Gabriel (narrator): Since we couldn’t wait around for days, I would have to continue without new brakes. Although Andrea, “didn’t do anything,” when I got back on the bike, I found that the brakes worked much better. I hope that Andrea’s non-work would last through the trip. As you will soon hear, though, that turned out to be optimistic thinking. Going so early in the season, we decided not to bring a tent or cooking equipment. Usually, we found accommodation the day before our arrival. Our favorite place during the week was the Rifugio Monte Zeus, a lovingly restored three-story stone building with a spectacular view over the Antigorio Valley and the snow- covered peaks beyond. A rifugio is usually a high- altitude hut or similar building catering to hikers, but the Monte Zeus is located in the hamlet of Crego at an altitude of only 781 meters, and is accessible by paved road, making it a reasonable destination for travelers in all kinds of vehicles, including bicycles. We had stocked up on supplies at the PENNY supermarket in Domodossola before starting our long, steady climb up the valley to the rifugio. Jason, worried that the rifugio would not serve alcohol, bought a bottle of limoncello and convinced me to haul it in my pannier. Huffing and puffing, we made it to the rifugio, where we were immediately greeted with a smile by Silvia, who runs the place together with her husband, Piergiorgio. We secured the bikes outside and dropped all our bags in the room, then took turns showering in the communal bathrooms. The room had a bunk bed and Jason immediately plunked himself down on the top mattress.
Gabriel: I do usually use a pillow.
Jason: Oh. But you could just use your backpack or something, right?
Gabriel: Yeah, those Ortlieb bags, they’re super comfy to put your head on.
Jason: You can use my towel also, like, wad it up.
Gabriel: It’s wet. It’s used.
Jason: Oh, man. It’s impossible to be roommates with you.
Gabriel: Well, I got good news. I don’t snore.
Jason: Yeah, right.
Gabriel: Unless I’ve done a lot of exercise, I’m tired.
Jason: I’m gettting a bad, bad feeling.
Gabriel: And I drink alcohol.
Jason: Dude, that is what I want right now, beer. Let’s go.
Gabriel: A beer?
Jason: She’s got to have some beers down there.
Gabriel: Well, you made me lug this bottle of limoncello up and down the Alps.
Jason: That’s kind of rude to go down there and drink it.
Gabriel: Yeah. okay, you have a couple of small glasses we could use? We’ve got some limoncello. Can you put this in the freezer for just a few minutes?
Gabriel (narrator): We returned downstairs, determined to find out what alcoholic beverages Silvia had on hand.
Gabriel: Don’t tell me you have limoncello.
Silvia: Yeah, we made it.
Gabriel: You made your own limoncello. You know, he made me buy a limoncello.
Jason: Come on.
Gabriel: He made me buy limoncello. I go up and down the mountains with the limoncello.
Jason: But we said, only in case you don’t have it.
Gabriel: We thought you wouldn’t have any.
Silvia: So it’s a quite strange case. I mean, it’s not exactly from this area, limoncello.
Gabriel: No.
Silvia: My husband, the cooker, would like to try because he found some good lemons. And so I said, “Okay.” It’s very good.
Gabriel: All right, we’ll try it.
Gabriel (narrator): Piergiorgio prepared us a simple but delicious dinner rounded out with, of course, the homemade limoncello. From the dining area, there is a view of the Oratorio di Crego, a sturdy yet graceful church built by a priest named Don Lorenzo Dresco, between 1852 and 1878. The external stone colonnade, 48 square columns surrounding the structure, showcased Don Cresco’s skill and devotion to the project. We retired after dinner and returned in the morning for a bountiful breakfast. After getting her two children ready for school, Silvia had a few spare minutes to share some of the history of the place.
Silvia: This place was a school in the past, 100 more or less years ago. And there was not the way to reach it. And so the people live here. And also the teacher live here. Have you seen the teacher’s room? In front of you, there is a small room with a fireside. And the teacher lived all the year here. Probably at that time, there were a lot of people in this part of Premia that is called Crego. And in fact, we have two churches, one small and this very big building from the priest at that time.
Gabriel: The priest that built this, actually, he’s a little bit famous because he spent so much time and energy building it.
Silvia: Yeah. Alone.
Gabriel: Alone.
Silvia: For the largest time, yeah.
Gabriel: But it looks amazing now.
Jason: Tell us more about this house. It’s quite strange because it’s a very big house for that time. I mean, we are a small village in the mountain. And so normally you find small houses, because it’s very cold, the weather and so everything is with small windows. But this is very big and also the other house close to this one. And we don’t know exactly why, because I think that they are built in 1700. So they are really, really old. And this is really strange, because probably at that time, these places were really rich. So it’s something like this. But I don’t know exactly why. Probably in this way, you can reach Swiss in an unusual way. I mean, in a secret way, probably.
Gabriel: Very secret. Yeah, yeah, because…
Jason: Avoid the toll or the border crossing.
Silvia: Yeah, here we call spalloni, the person that reaches a Swiss in a secret way with a backpack with something inside to sell it in Swiss. And there is also a story about this. I think it was something like this, because it’s very a rich place. Also with the church, everything. It’s very rich.
Gabriel: And then the last question is about the name. That is, Monte Zeus.
Silvia: It’s another strange thing. I thought that it depends from the mountain because in front of us, there is Monte Giove. In the valley, there are a lot of hotels called Monte Giove. And so I thought that was a funny way to be different. But someone told me about this place that in the past, before Christ, probably, there was, I don’t know, in English, the word for altare.
Gabriel: Altars.
Silvia: Altars, for Zeus.
Gabriel: It is worth pointing out that Giove in Italian is Jupiter. Giove is therefore the Roman equivalent of the Greek god Zeus, or Zeus.
Silvia: So this is a place with strange energy. You can feel it. If you remain some days in the right moment of the year – I mean, when there are not so much people, when there is the right light – I’m not so spiritual, normally. But there is a really strange energy in this place. I don’t know exactly why. I would like to look in for some information about these, but it’s not so easy. I’ve met in the past, in the last five years that I’ve bought this place, some strange people came to ask about this, because probably they know something, but they are not so happy to share it. I don’t know why. Really strange people, believe me. I don’t know exactly why. They come here and ask about information. Are you strange people? No. No, I’m joking. No.
Gabriel (narrator): Since the road further up the valley is a dead end for everyone except the most daring smugglers, Jason and I returned the way we came, back toward Domodossola. In the valley carved by the Toce River below the Rifugio Monte Zeus is one of the most interesting natural attractions we encountered during the trip, the Orridi di Uriezzo. The word orrido means gorge in Italian. Here, a long time ago, various mountain streams running under the Toce glacier carved out a network of narrow, undulating slot canyons. We parked our bikes and walked right into one of the gorges, stepping down metal staircases through winding, narrow passages connecting a series of wider chambers. We were the only visitors at that early hour. It had rained all night and the smooth rocks were dripping all around us. Here is what it sounded like. Surrounded by the mysterious and slightly spooky atmosphere of the gorge, I recalled Sylvia’s words about the unusual energy of the place. Eventually, we left the foreboding Orridi di Uriezzo behind. The sun came out as we rode along the valley floor and passed the town of Crodo, home of the famous healing waters that are bottled under the name of Terme di Crodo mineral water. It was here in created a bittersweet, non- alcoholic aperitif called Crodino. The recipe, which calls for a mixture of herbs, spices, roots, and perhaps even a few drops of Crodo mineral water, has remained a secret ever since. Ownership of Crodino changed hands in since 2023, the drink is no longer made in Crodo at all. At the PENNY supermarket in Domodossola, where we bought the limoncello, Jason had also tried to buy a couple of bottles of a drink called Funny, which looked exactly like Crodino. He would have had to buy the entire six pack, so he gave up on the idea. However, he said he had some Funny back at the Rustico. I couldn’t believe Jason would be willing to purchase such a blatant Crodino ripoff, so he challenged me to a blind taste test once we returned to the rustico at the end of the week. And now for some random church bells, which we heard so often in Italy. Our catalogue of experiences in Italy would not be complete without mentioning the breakfast routine, which is often light, simple, and centered around coffee. We spent one night in the town of Venegono Superiore, and our hosts had strongly recommended that we have breakfast at the Pasticceria Denis Buoni. When we reached the indicated address, we were surprised to find a large bakery adjacent to a size- able cafe. All kinds of tempting pastries, cookies, chocolates, and cakes were on display, with more regularly emerging from the adjacent bakery. We ordered at the counter before taking our seats at a table. While waiting for the waitress to come by with our breakfasts, we noticed that the place was buzzing with activity. Refreshingly, there were no other tourists around. About half the customers were sitting, while the others were standing at the counter for a quick espresso. It was clear that, for the people standing, this morning caffeine break was the sacred part of the day. Most engaged in brief conversations with the barista or other customers before leaving. Everybody seemed to know everybody else. Here are some of the sounds from the counter. And so it was that after seven days of touring in Switzerland and Italy, bicycling along lakes, through long tunnels, and up and down mountain passes, we returned to Jason’s rustico. On the way, we stopped in Verbania to pick up the laptop at the computer shop. There we talked to Giordano, who explained what they had done to fix the fan error.
Giordano: Il problema era la ventola, e faceva un errore perché era sporca, e quindi l’abbiamo pulita e gli abbiamo pulito anche intorno, il connettore, gli abbiamo fatto un reset e adesso non ti fa più l’errore e ti entra direttamente.
Gabriel (narrator): Even something as mundane as disassembling and cleaning a dirty fan sounded terrific in Italian. I left the store satisfied, happy that I would soon be able to release the episode with Yann. That evening, we made it to the rustico, where I could finally take the Crodino blind taste test. Jason produced two small glass bottles. They had the same shape, while the contents had the same yellow color, officially called biondo.
Jason: You’re saying that Crodino is somehow special.
Gabriel: Yes.
Jason: Very special, so distinctive, much higher quality than anything else, because it’s Crodino made with with some Crodo water or something like that.
Gabriel: Yeah.
Jason: That’s your point.
Gabriel: And it’s a secret recipe.
Jason: It’s secret, right. It’s not publicized what the recipe is.
Gabriel: Exactly. No one has figured out what’s in there.
Jason: And your claim is that Funny brand drink, apertivo biondo, this is not as good because they don’t have a secret recipe, and it’s PENNY brand probably.
Gabriel: Yeah.
Jason: Let’s back up, because I’ve never claimed that you cannot say there’s a difference between them. I think you’ll taste a difference.
Gabriel: Okay.
Jason: The question is, is one better than the other?
Gabriel: Right.
Jason: Or could you somehow distinguish, oh, that one’s Crodino, that one’s Funny, without some practice. Like, you got served in a restaurant, your palate’s clear, and they say, “It’s Crodino,” but they put Funny in there. You’re like, “Oh, yeah, it’s good. It’s good.” But you wouldn’t be like, “This is not Crodino. This is Funny.”
Gabriel: Funny. This tastes funny.
Jason: So the challenge with the taste test is you’ll say, “Yes, I taste a difference.” And you’ll try to pick the one that you think tastes better.
Gabriel: Yeah.
Jason: And if you pick Crodino, all we’ve established is that you think it tastes better.
Gabriel: Right.
Jason: But we haven’t established that it is better.
Gabriel: I mean, it’s all subjective.
Jason: Exactly.
Gabriel: Okay. Well, how would you know if it is better or not?
Jason: You would have to ask hundreds of people to do the same test.
Gabriel: Okay. Now we’re getting into statistical significance.
Jason: And then if like over here, I don’t know what it is, but it tastes better.” Then I would agree and say, “Yes, Crodino is better.”
Gabriel: Okay. But what if we just say, can I distinguish between the two? Can I distinguish?
Jason: Yeah. I think you’ll say there’s a difference. And probably even you might pick the Crodino, but then the interesting thing will be to find out why you picked that one.
Gabriel: Okay. And then just before we get started, we’ve done these taste tests before, over the years. And I know that at least once, I think it was olives. It was an olive…
Jason: I don’t even know anymore.
Gabriel: Well, it was about 20 years ago. We did an olive taste test, and I was very sure about which ones would be better, but I couldn’t tell the difference. I am pretty sure you gave me two of the same. And you said, “Well, which one’s better?” Right, I can see it on your face.
Jason: I don’t remember.
Gabriel: Sure.
Jason: I remember something about this, and I remember you not passing the test.
Gabriel: But you always have to fool me or make it crazy like that. So you promise.
Jason: Is this a warning? Don’t do that this time.
Gabriel: It’s just, you promise to give me one of each.
Jason: Okay.
Gabriel: Let’s go. So how are we going to do it?
Jason: Well, I’m going to put a little of each one and try to get glasses, similar glasses.
Gabriel: Okay.
Jason: I don’t have identical glasses, I think. Oh yeah, I do.
Gabriel: All right. Two identical glasses. That’s a bonus.
Jason: What I’m going to do is you’re not going to look.
Gabriel: Okay.
Jason: But I’m going to mark the bottles and the glasses so that there’s no chance of confusion.
Gabriel: Oh, that’s good. That’s really good.
Jason: I’m marking it with the letter R and the letter L. Okay?
Gabriel: R and L. Alright.
Jason: You hear it?
Gabriel: Yep.
Jason: Yeah, sounds the same when I pour it in.
Gabriel: They even got the sound the same. Alright.
Jason: To add some confusion, I’m going to place the one that is L on your right-hand side and the one labeled R is on your left side.
Gabriel: Okay, but my eyes are closed now.
Jason: Oh, really?
Gabriel: I don’t want to look at the color, even subtle differences in color might change everything. So here’s the first one.
Jason: Alright.
Gabriel: I’ve tasted it now.
Jason: Alright. You want to swig a water?
Gabriel: Oh, yeah, that would be great.
Jason: Okay. And now you’re going to take the one for your right hand.
Gabriel: Okay.
Jason: What do you think?
Gabriel: Alright.
Jason: They both went down pretty easily.
Gabriel: Yeah, they went down really easy. Okay, I can open my eyes now. I would say that for me, L is my favorite, because it tasted smooth and like it was made with natural ingredients.
Jason: And maybe some secret ingredients, like something special in there that’s
Gabriel: I don’t know. I was getting hints of orange peel and cinnamon and vanilla. It was very enjoyable. I felt R was more bitter. It’s stronger but more bitter.
Jason: Okay.
Gabriel: It really tasted like it had some artificial flavoring or something like that. I didn’t get any citrus notes. I just got bitter.
Jason: And you felt that you tasted a big difference there.
Gabriel: Right.
Jason: It was really, clearly for you, one tastes much different.
Gabriel: Yeah.
Jason: And better.
Gabriel: And better. L. L is different and better.
Jason: Well.
Gabriel: Time for the reveal.
Jason: Shall I bring out the bottles?
Gabriel: Yeah.
Jason: Alright.
Gabriel: Here we go.
Jason: Here come the labeled bottles.
Gabriel: Let’s see.
Jason: Alright. Here’s the bottle with L and there’s the one with R.
Gabriel: The Crodino is the one I did not like so much.
Jason: You liked the Funny better than the Crodino.
Gabriel: Yes, I love the Funny.
Jason: It tasted natural.
Gabriel: You know, I think everything changed after Campari took over the Crodino.
Jason: Yeah. Since it moved to Milano.
Gabriel: Yes, since it moved. I don’t think it uses any water from the Crodo natural springs anymore.
Gabriel (narrator): With the taste test concluded, we finally had time to think about how we would return to Luzern. There was one pass, Grosse Scheidegg, that was guaranteed to open on Saturday, May 17th. Grosse Scheidegg is especially appealing, because between Schwarzwaldalp and Grindenwald, it is closed to motorized traffic, except for the PostBus. Unfortunately, it was quite far out of our way home. Before committing to a route, we decided to check the road conditions one last time and were surprised to find out that the Gotthardpass had just opened. This had to be our way back to Luzern. In the morning, we locked up the rustico and set off for Switzerland. The adventure began in Airolo, where we had started our tour eight days earlier. The town was hosting a Seifenkisten derby, which literally translates to “soapbox derby.” These are gravity-powered cars in which the drivers, usually children, race down a hill as fast as possible. The finish line had been placed in the middle of main street, and the Banda dei Veterani Tichinesi was playing, giving us a rousing send-off towards the top. Up and up we went, as Airolo soon became a cluster of houses far below us. We encountered the first cobblestone section, for which the Gotthardpass is so famous. Snaking our way up the so-called Tremola Road, we reached a lowered barrier, which surprised us. We thought the pass had just been opened. We were still deciding how to proceed when we saw a lone cyclist coming down the mountain towards us. When he stopped at the barrier, Jason had asked him in German if we were allowed to continue. The man had replied that it was allowed, and he even recommended the bratwurst at the summit. Now that was motivation! We pushed our bikes under the barrier and continued. It was all cobblestones from here to the bratwurst. Fallen rocks, branches, and other debris still lay on the road. We now entered the most famous part of the climb, the final six kilometers with its 24 beautiful hairpin bends. On this day, we had the mountain almost exclusively to ourselves. All motorized traffic followed the road on the cliff on the opposite side of the valley. Soon the first patches of snow appeared, and in the final kilometers we encountered snow banks, which in places along the road were a couple of meters high. With a final effort, we crossed a few hundred meters of straight cobblestone road leading to the bustling summit. Around us were several mountain lakes, still partially covered in ice. We got off our bikes and bundled up. We ordered our bratwursts and took a few minutes to savor our accomplishment. The plan was to coast down to Göschenen, and from there take the train to Luzern. The train we needed ran only once every two hours, and the next one would be leaving Göschenen shortly after 5 p.m. We still had plenty of time to cover the 16 downhill kilometers, or at least that’s what we thought when we set off. The first problem was that the descent was freezing cold. Fortunately, Jason had brought not one but two pairs of gloves. Jason’s gloves allowed my fingers to keep working, but I soon found that I was again not able to stop the bike, even when gripping the disc brake levers with all my might. The cobblestone road soon merged with the main asphalt road, which carried a fair amount of fast-moving traffic. We tried to adjust the brakes to provide increased stopping power, but then, SNAP! The front brake soon failed completely, and I had to drag my feet to stop. We readjusted the brake cable and soon it was somewhat working again. Descending at this slow speed, with the bike only half under control and cars whizzing by, us was a harrowing experience. SNAP! The front brake failed again, and I again had to drag my feet to come to a full stop. We had reached a section with a separate bike path. Jason came up with the brilliant idea of tying a bungee cord between our bikes. In this way, he would brake me during the descent. We tried out this crazy idea, and it worked. I could take my hands off the brakes and slowly roll down the road, with the stretched bungee cord between our bicycles. The problem was that at one point the path went slightly uphill, and Jason almost ran into the back of the bike as the bungee cord sagged. Then, the path merged back onto the road, and Jason didn’t feel comfortable with the bungee cord setup on the road. I kept descending slowly, but then SNAP! My rear brake went out. I again dragged my feet to stop, but I couldn’t take it any longer. Basically, both brakes were completely gone by now. We were only a couple of downhill kilometers from Göschenen, but time was now really running out to catch the train. There was only one thing left to do. I put on my safety-first bright orange rain jacket, dismounted, and started running with my bike, Jason rolling behind me at slow speed. At this point, there was a wide shoulder on the uphill side of the road, so it worked perfectly to run downhill on this wide shoulder. against oncoming car traffic. Luckily, the exit to Göschenen led to a few hundred flat meters of road, on which I could actually pedal. We made it just in time to buy our tickets and jump aboard.
Jason: Oh! So you know what I kept thinking as we were coming down that last new section, and I knew that your front brake was a little bit sketchy, like kind of at its max?
Gabriel: Yeah.
Jason: Everything was going to the back brake, and I thought, soon that back brake is going to start doing what the front brake was doing.
Gabriel: Yeah, fail.
Jason: Yeah. That’s what I was thinking.
Gabriel: Yeah, because it was…
Jason: And about half an hour later.
Gabriel: It was totally overloaded, and then you touch it, and it’s like, “Argh.” Burning. So we made it.
Jason: Yeah, but it was cold at the top.
Gabriel: It was cold at the top.
Jason: How are your fingers feeling now?
Gabriel: Good. I can’t believe you had that extra pair of gloves. That saved my life.
Jason: I was in the house and I had both pairs, which I brought with me here. I thought, I should leave these here and take them home later, why carry them? I was like, I don’t know, I’ll just throw them in. I threw both pairs in.
Gabriel: So, since my brakes were so soft, I had to try to grip them, like to the max.
Jason: Yeah.
Gabriel: But it was so cold that my fingers were frozen. So those gloves saved the day. Well, they didn’t really save the day.
Jason: Oh yeah, you would have been wrapping your dirty underwear around your hands. Like, here’s a pair. Here’s a pair. You would have had underwear gloves on.
Gabriel: Just two big.
Jason: Clumps of underwear.
Gabriel: You can’t actually separate them from the brakes. It’s just the brakes are on max, my hands are on them, and there’s underwear wrapped around it.
Jason: I can’t believe we made the train just now.
Gabriel: I can’t believe I’m alive.
Jason: You were running, clop, clop, clop, clop with your bike.
Gabriel: At least I didn’t have clipless. Imagine that. So basically let’s recap what happened. So what happened was, making it to the top was epic, and then descending was even more epic, because my brakes no longer worked.
Jason: They just went out.
Gabriel: So that’s when I had to put my feet down to break. So that was the first realization. And then, the second thing we had to do, was you had this idea to do the bungees.
Jason: Right, connect my bike to your bike to a bungee cord, and I would be your brakes.
Gabriel: Yeah, exactly. So I was in front, the bungee connected us, and I had my brakes off at that point, because you were braking me.
Jason: Yeah, and it was working pretty good, until we had to go uphill.
Gabriel: And bungee cords work only in tension. They don’t work in compression. So that failed.
Jason: It was working for a while, not great.
Gabriel: As we were a couple of kilometers from the train station, my rear brake went completely out. So at that point I couldn’t brake. So to make the train, because time was running out, I got off the bike and I started running down the hill, which must have been a pretty funny sight.
Jason: Yeah, what are people thinking?
Gabriel: I don’t know.
Jason: Driving by.
Gabriel: Here’s the guy running down the hill on the wrong side of the road.
Jason: And there’s a buddy behind, riding. “Go! Go!” It’s my trainer. “Go! Go!” It’s the new sport of bike running. You run with a fully loaded bike behind you. It’s catching on in Switzerland. It must have looked absolutely ridiculous.
Gabriel: The transcript for this episode is available on The Accidental Bicycle Tourist website. I welcome feedback and suggestions for this and other episodes. You’ll find the link to all contact information in the show notes. If you would like to rate or review the show, you can do that on your favorite podcast platform. You can also follow the podcast on Instagram. Thank you to Anna Lindenmeier for the cover artwork and to Timothy Shortell for the original music. This podcast would not be possible without continuous support from my wife, Sandra. And thank you so much for listening. I hope the episode will inspire you to get out and see where the road leads you.
Gabriel: We’re heading to Bellagio.
Jason: Yay. Isn’t that the place, the one in Vegas is named after this?
Gabriel: What a jerk, man. That’s not funny at all.
Jason: Come on, these things are spontaneous. You can’t.
Gabriel: You can. You can redo it. It’s a one-liner.